Heigh ho, heigh ho...

... it’s off to work I go!

Yes, having been off work for a few months, I have begun a phased return to work. Thank goodness!

Far from the attitude implied by ‘heigh ho’ (defined in the Oxford English Dictionary as an attitude of langour, weariness or disappointment) I am actually really engaged with and excited about my return to work and what passes for normality!

I like the shape and structure that work brings to my life, and I find my ministry very fulfilling. I think that I have been generally happier and more settled since I began back to work a fortnight ago, than I was previously.

But, at the back of my mind there is a wee niggle.

Aware that I am only 2 or 3 years away from retirement, I wonder how I will cope. Yes, I have lots of interests and many hobbies to pursue. But will these give me the same sense of structure and satisfaction?

Indeed, I now wonder if this fear lies behind my insistent determination to keep working as best I can in spite of health challenges that could have justified me giving up a while back.

Hmmm...

And what does that say about me and where I find my sense of self and worth?

Am I a human being or a human doing?

Is it my work, my efforts, and my achievements that define who I feel myself to be?

Or, to be more theological... am I justified by grace or by works?

And again, to be more personally spiritual, what does this say about the nature of my relationship with God, my sense of self in relation to Christ etc?

Interesting questions, worth pondering...

...but they will have to wait... I need to get back to work!