On Retirement

 

 

I have not posted on my blog for ages and ages and have still to complete my musings on my musical journey. Sorry about that; I have been too busy retiring! Yes, busy retiring. It is an exhausting business, or it has been thus far. All the desk-clearing, tying up loose ends and so on, followed by the (several) farewell events, then getting the change in finances sorted out, and… and… and…

Then, as soon as I had hit the set date, we headed off for a wee break / family visit, following which I took the opportunity to travel to different Scottish cities and towns to make the time to see friends whom I had not seen for ages… it has been so hectic!

And last week and early this week I was doing what felt very much like work… conducting worship and preaching, preparing for and taking a funeral, attending various meetings and so on. It all felt very much like my pre-retirement life… except… it felt nothing like it!

Inside, something felt different, more free, less pressured.

And now, finally, in these last couple of days things have settled down a wee bit and what I suspect will be a more normal pattern has begun to be established. I walk the dogs in the morning without thinking that I need to get back home to get on with the day, I read books not worrying about what I ought to be doing at the desk, I play with our grand-daughter without feeling the need to check for emails, I listen to music not distracted by tomorrow’s responsibilities, I go fishing without that evening’s meeting or whatever always at the back of my mind.

Yesterday I even struggled to remember what day of the week it was. Bliss!

I hope I may even manage to get back to more regular blogging!

But, I have to say that the biggest change is not what has occurred in these last few days. It was that real sense of a weight lifting from me the very day I retired. And it almost felt like it was a physical weight that had been shed. Even when, in these last few weeks, I have been busy doing ‘normal’ Ministerial type things, that weight has gone. I no longer feel pressured, responsible, nor other people’s expectations in the same way.

I was not expecting this experience, but I am enjoying it!

Of course, while I have retired from being a full-time working Minister, I have not relinquished my ordination! I fully intend to continue to lead worship, preach and celebrate the sacraments (I have already conducted one baptism since retiring). In fact, preparing for and leading worship on a weekly basis is the one thing from Ministerial life that I am currently missing.

But oh how I am enjoying that sense of freedom, ease, lack of pressure, and so on.

I cannot recall the last time in my life when I felt such a sense of well-being, peace and simple joy; a feeling of contentment and being at one with the world.