‘One thing you can’t hide, is when you’re crippled inside’
John
Lennon ‘Crippled Inside’ on the ‘Imagine' album (1971)
Not that I actually feel ‘crippled inside’. Not really.
But, I am aware of the bruises and brokenness we all bear. I
have never shied away from acknowledging that in myself, nor in being open about
it.
It is only as I have grown older that I have increasingly realised
that the ‘normal’ thing seems to be to live in denial, to pretend that all is
well, to ignore the ‘broken bits’ and certainly never to admit to them!
Whoops! I have got all that spectacularly wrong then. Or
not!
In fact, I really do not believe that denial and pretence
are healthy. Quite the opposite. So, I am not at all sorry to have been so
aware of my inner failings, nor to have been open about them (as and when appropriate).
A conversation a few days ago with a family member, confirmed
to me that openness can be a very positive thing, not just for the one sharing,
but for the other who listens.
And a much valued chat with a friend the other day, in which
we were open about some of our struggles etc, was so helpful for me (and, I
think and hope, for him too) that I was once again reminded of the power of
honesty and openness.
Don’t get me wrong. I think that there can be inappropriate ‘sharing’
and I do not think for one moment that we should be profligate in our exposing
of our weaknesses to others. But in the right place, with the right person, at the
right time, and when it is both safe and appropriate, then sharing in this way
can be so beneficial and therapeutic.
I think I always believed that; it is only more recently that
I realised that this is not ‘normal’!
I am so glad to know that some of my friends and some of my
family members find that it has been such a positive experience for them too.
And, truth be told, I cannot quite divorce this from my
understanding of what Christian fellowship can mean, or from the words of Jesus
who said ‘you shall know the truth, and the truth shall set you free’. What if
that means more than the truth about God, but also means the truth about ourselves?
And what if we cannot really know the truth about ourselves until we share it?
That has certainly been my experience.
I have never found the reaction of the ostrich a very
helpful guide to healthy living!
As you and I mused together, a lifetime ago, the tradition which got formalised in some branches of the church into Confession takes us half way there - and touches on your insights. (Half way, as it isn't quite confessing 'to one another,' just to 'one.)
ReplyDeleteIndeed!
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