McCartney at 80 and Questions about Retirement

 

Sir Paul McCartney celebrated his 80^th birthday last weekend, and this coming weekend he will be appearing at Glastonbury; the oldest performer ever to do so.

Good for him…

… or is it?

Now, as most of my friends and blog readers will be well aware, I am a bit of a fan. Certainly, I am a big fan of the Beatles and there is no doubt that McCartney’s amazing musicality, creativity, experimentalism (often overlooked), and sheer energy played an enormous part in the Beatles’ success, output, and progress.

I have been watching Peter Jackson’s superb ‘Get Back’ film documenting the prolonged and protracted ‘Let it Be’ sessions, and I am finding it fascinating for the insight it gives into the relationships between the four Beatles (by this time sometimes strained, but equally also often fun and affectionate) and the insight into the ways in which their songs were created and developed.

While I might instinctively be more aligned with John Lennon’s music, I recognise McCartney for the genius he was and is, and the ‘Get Back’ film has reinforced that view.

John Lennon also recognised McCartney’s great ability. In spite of his well known criticisms of some of McCartney’s songs (such as ‘When I’m Sixty Four’ and ‘Maxwell’s Silver Hammer’ dismissed as ‘granny music’… and I tend to agree with Lennon on this) he also said ‘Paul was one of the most innovative bass players ever. And half the stuff that is going on now is directly ripped off from his Beatles period. He is an egomaniac about everything else about himself, but his bass playing he was always a bit coy about.’

Well, I find that interesting in all kinds of ways!

There are some lazy and inaccurate assessment’s made by people, such as the oft-stated idea that Lennon represented the rawer, rockier side of the Beatles while McCartney was more the soft, gentle balladeer. But that does not stand up to scrutiny when you consider the likes of McCartney’s ‘I saw her Standing There’, or ‘Why don’t we do it in the Road’ or ‘Helter Skelter’ and so on and on. (And not to mention the several ‘gentler’ and deeply sensitive Lennon compositions.)

Another popular misapprehension is that Paul was fine when he worked with Lennon in the Beatles, but since then he has descended into pop kitsch (or however the supposed critic would describe his post-Beatles’ output). And I will readily admit that he has produced some pretty mind-numbing nonsense whether as a solo artist or with Wings. But albums such as ‘Band on the Run’ or singles such as ‘Coming Up’ and ‘Live and Let Die’ are great (at least, in my opinion).

And then there is his most recent release ‘McCartney III’.

I confess, I did not begin listening to it with much positive expectation (I too seem to be infected with the prejudice). But it is absolutely great! I am not sure that I might not even suggest that it represents his best post-Beatles piece of work…

…except…

…his voice…

It has gone.

It has long gone, to be honest.

With my wife, my son, my daughter, and my brother, and many thousand others, I went to see the great man playing at Hampden Park some years ago. What a concert it was! It was the nearest I will ever get to attending a ‘Beatles’ Concert’. The music was great, the playing superb… although I could have done without his cheesy ‘showmanship’ and schmaltzy comments in between songs. However, it was his voice that struck me. It was not what it was… not by a long shot… and it is not getting better as the years pass.

Well, that’s no surprise. The man’s now 80!

So, why does he not just gracefully retire? Why did he not gracefully retire 20 years ago? He obviously does not need the money, or the recognition, or the sense of achievement.

And as I ponder that question, I am also asking the very same question of myself.

Did I not retire just a few weeks ago? Then why am I wondering about being a locum somewhere, or looking at possible roles in the wider life of the church, or checking out certain wee part-time jobs in the church??

I do not need the money (nice as it would be!) nor the recognition (I don’t think).

So, what is it?

Perhaps it is no more complicated than that it is difficult to give up those things that you enjoy, things that you find fulfilling, things that feed your soul, things that you have always done.

And what will you do if you stop doing these? Is it a question of role, or even identity?

Perhaps that is Paul McCartney’s problem.

Perhaps it is mine too.

Perhaps it is an issue for many people.

But perhaps too there is a time to recognise that we may no longer be able to do what we once did, and nor should we. Those days are past.

Is it time for Paul and me to celebrate the past and ‘Let it Be’, and to step out on a new part of the ‘Long and Winding Road’.

Time to recognise that whatever we contributed in the past, we may no longer have what it takes to do the same in the present or the future, accept that, and find what we can do and find fulfilling and meaningful?

I am just pondering… no decisions… yet.

‘Prog Rock’, Progressive Rock and the Tyranny of Terminology

 

 

The picture above – as prog rock aficionados will recognise – includes images from some of the most iconic ‘prog rock’ album covers… not that all the bands represented would necessarily thank you for the ‘prog’ label! Read on…

 

‘Progressive rock is anything that doesn’t sound like regular rock. Regular rock is everything that sounds like itself’ (Frank Zappa)

 

‘Whither progressive music? I would much prefer to let that old fashioned terminology fall back into the swamp of its indulgent insignificance’ (Peter Banks original guitarist of Yes)

 

‘[Prog is] a prison. If you walk on stage and you’re playing music, fine. But if you’re walking on stage and you’re playing progressive rock: death.’; (Robert Fripp King Crimson)

 

‘Trying to copy or ossify a particular musical style or vocabulary from … any … particular era is by definition not ‘progressive’ at all, but profoundly regressive…’ (Simon Barrow ‘Solid Mental Grace’)

 

 

Of all my posts on music, this (which may be – for the moment at least – my penultimate on this theme) will likely connect with the fewest people. It will almost certainly appeal – or even make sense to – only a very niche group.

 

But, in all honesty, I am blogging more for me than for anyone else!

 

Most folks who have any awareness of ‘prog rock’ at all (whether as fans or detractors) are well aware that it has a reputation for being self-indulgent, too clever for its own good, overblown, elitist, and well past its sell by date. And its fans are seen as predominantly men, usually of a certain age, stuck in a nostalgic longing for the 1970s.

 

The thing is, I think this is a fair criticism of some (possibly, many) aspects of what is generally termed progressive rock. And I think it is a fair criticism of some of us (and to some extent I include myself) who are or were fans of the genre. There is a tendency towards nostalgia, to be stuck in the past, and looking for our favourite bands to replicate the high points of the 1970s rather than be truly progressive.

 

Ah, the irony… the ‘regressiveness’ of progressive rock!

 

If you want to read more about this I would thoroughly recommend Simon Barrow’s book on listening to the music of Yes, the excellent ‘Solid Mental Grace’, and particularly the chapter ‘Yes after Progressive Rock’, in which he explores some of these matters.

 

Now, as I freely admit, I am not at all free from that tendency to prog rock nostalgia, and in wanting to locate, and even ‘fix’ some aspects of my musical experience back in the era when prog was in its pomp. But, much of that has to do with the stage of life I was going through back then, and the fresh musical discoveries I myself was making (to which I refer in other posts).

 

But, in mitigation, I would say that I have become (I hope) somewhat less snobbish about music in recent years and have come to appreciate the ‘pop’ music I had so readily dismissed when I discovered ‘rock’ and – more significantly – recently I have even heard Country music that I enjoyed, and I had long disparaged that genre! Moreover, I have delved much more into jazz and folk and classical too, although much of that is thanks to progressive rock, ironically!

 

I am a huge fan of Yes, and I do think that their 1970s output was genuinely progressive, no album more so than ‘Close to the Edge’. Their music then pushed the boundaries and explored new territory. Has their material since then (great as much of it is) done so to the same extent? I don’t really think so. Some it may be ‘prog’ (as in it belongs in that presumed genre) but it is not really ‘progressive’.

 

On the other hand, I think that there is more evidence of continual progress in the likes of King Crimson (and in much of Robert Fripp’s additional work) as also in Porcupine Tree; both bands that have sought to eschew the ‘prog rock’ categorisation.

 

But, in the end of the day, I think that the most genuinely progressive band of all time (and they largely preceded the emergence of that genre, and yet were part of its genesis) was the Beatles. In seven short years of recording, look at how they progressed as they absorbed and explored various musical genres.

 

But, enough of lazy categorisation! Here’s to musical progress whatever we call it, and here’s to good music generally.

 

Now, where’s my favourite Country and Western album…?

 

 

West Side Story and Progressive Rock

 

I promised a return to my music based posts on my blog, and here we go! Not that I may not return to this curious journey that is retirement, but I think I need to process and consider that a bit more (still trying to wrestle with being retired from work on the one hand, and yet remaining ‘called’ to Ministry and ordained to a ministry of Word and Sacrament… hmmm…).

 

Anyway, back to music as I say, and in particular this marvellous musical to which I have referred before.

 

As I think I may have said, I was no stranger to American musicals as a child. My parents both sang and acted in amateur musicals in Glasgow, and there were various records of musicals in our house. To this day I can (and sometimes do… to the irritation of my family) sing many songs from the great musicals; South Pacific, Oklahoma, Guys and Dolls and so on.

 

But there was always something different, greater, unique about West Side Story. The story, the choreography, and – of course – the music.

 

A few evenings ago we watched the new film version on TV. This has been produced by Stephen Spielberg, and – while I admire his work very much – I was slightly uncertain, as the 1961 film is so much part of my life and I have seen it so very many times.

 

But I was hugely impressed! Loved it. I will certainly watch it again, and probably again.

 

However, my first reaction when it ended was to decide to go back to the 1961 film and watch that again.

 

Interesting!. There was something about that earlier version which had a passion and warmth that I am not sure is there in the 2021 version. But I’m not sure…

 

That said, having watched / listened to both versions, the music really struck me afresh.

 

There is no doubt that it sits firmly in the tradition and genre of the musical. And yet, it does so while drawing so very much on so many other traditions; jazz, Latin, symphonic, operatic, and comedy songs etc.

 

But it most certainly not jazz nor yet Latin nor yet opera. It is most certainly a musical, and sits in that genre. Yet so many different styles and genres are represented in it.

 

And that made me think about Progressive Rock at its best. No, not the overblown excesses with which part of the Prog Rock scene has been associated (which can be as far from genuinely ‘progressive;’ as could be). But the best examples (which, in embryonic form, can be found in the late 1960s pre-Prog work of the Beatles, the Beach Boys, Traffic, early Pink Floyd, the Nice and so forth). Progressive Rock was unmistakably and undeniably ‘rock’ music. But it drew not simply on the rock and roll and blues roots that typified and gave birth to that genre, but also classical music, jazz, folk, vaudeville,  and so forth.

 

King Crimson’s albums ‘In the Court of the Crimson King’ or ‘Lark’s Tongues in Aspic’, Yes’s ‘Close to the Edge’ and so forth are good examples of this at its best.

 

No, there is not point or significance in all of this. Just a musing… and I may muse more on progressive rock another time!

 

But it is that sense of music being firmly within a certain genre while drawing so freely on other genres that intrigued me.

 

I doubt it will much interest anyone else!

 

Ah well, must re-watch West Side Story…now, which version???

Dislocation

 

 

I do know that I had promised to get back to my posts on music etc… and I will!

But, meanwhile, there is still so much to process with this whole retirement business, and adjusting to it all, and living with the implications, and so on.

I have had a few years now to get used to my bus pass, and I am greatly enjoying free bus travel! But I am struggling just a wee bit with now being eligible for a much cheaper haircut because I am (as it appears on the prices of my local barber) an ‘Auld Yin’!

I am due an eye test and have booked for next week, and I discover that I am now also due a decent discount on any new specs I need or wish, as I am now of a certain age.

No, I am not complaining about it… just accommodating it!

And this last week I have experienced a deep sense of dislocation, discombobulation and disconcertment (is that a word? and, yes, you can take the preacher out of the pulpit, but he still seems to think in three alliterative points!)

All this is because I have moved all my ‘work’ stuff from what was and is our spare room to a) the dump, b) the shredder and c) a small bureau in our dining room. And I no longer feel I belong in any specific space in the house.

This all began in some ways when Jane embarked upon parish ministry in 2016 and for the first time I no longer had a Manse (although I lived in hers! I suspect she may think that I was lucky she allowed me!)

In that first Manse of hers, Jane – of course – had the study, and I had use of a spare bedroom which was very spacious with plenty room for my desk, my books, my musical instruments, and a spare bed. All good and fine.

However, Jane’s current Manse, while having the requisite number of rooms, is not quite as spacious (and bear in mind that we also have living with us an adult son and two huge Labradors). So, my wee space in this Manse consisted of a small room with space for a sofa bed, some of my musical instruments, very few books and a very small work station. But, I liked it and it was mine.

As is the way with us Ministers who imagine ourselves to be indispensable(!), that wee room would be my first port of call in the morning (checking up on the day ahead, looking at emails, writing down the inspired sermon ideas that had occurred to me in the depths of the night, etc) and my final stop last thing at night (checking up on the next day, looking at emails, recording the various marvellous sermon illustrations that had occurred to me in the course of the day, etc). Truth be told, I was in that wee room most of the time in between as well, at least, when I was not out and about.

But it was not only a place of work; it was my place of recreation too with my musical instruments and various non-work books etc… although in this Manse I had to learn to re-locate some of my recreational activities elsewhere to take account of the available room.

And then, this week, I moved the little work stuff I am hanging onto out of that room (apart from a handful of files) and put such theology / worship / mission / church development etc books as I had stored in my wee room onto Jane’s bookshelves. And now this wee room is still mine (unless and until guests come to stay!) but it is now given over to my musical instruments, sound system (Yes, I do have Spotify and have smart speakers etc… but for the audiophile that will just not do!), books on steam locomotives and railways and fishing and so on. But it is no longer a room for work.

My work has been relocated to the wee bureau in our dining room and I am simply finding space to keep, charge, and use my laptop as needs arise.

And I am feeling not simply relocated so much as rather dislocated!

Yes, that is how it has felt, and yesterday I was really quite disconsolate having done the deed.

Not that I think I was wrong still less intend to go back! It is all part of the process.

And, anyway, my wee room is now no longer a place of work, but it is a place of recreation and that feels rather nice. I spent a while there a little time ago, listening to music and then strumming a guitar. That felt rather good, and all the more so as there was no sign of work around, anywhere.

It may take me a while to get used to this new pattern, but I think it could work…!

On Retirement

 

 

I have not posted on my blog for ages and ages and have still to complete my musings on my musical journey. Sorry about that; I have been too busy retiring! Yes, busy retiring. It is an exhausting business, or it has been thus far. All the desk-clearing, tying up loose ends and so on, followed by the (several) farewell events, then getting the change in finances sorted out, and… and… and…

Then, as soon as I had hit the set date, we headed off for a wee break / family visit, following which I took the opportunity to travel to different Scottish cities and towns to make the time to see friends whom I had not seen for ages… it has been so hectic!

And last week and early this week I was doing what felt very much like work… conducting worship and preaching, preparing for and taking a funeral, attending various meetings and so on. It all felt very much like my pre-retirement life… except… it felt nothing like it!

Inside, something felt different, more free, less pressured.

And now, finally, in these last couple of days things have settled down a wee bit and what I suspect will be a more normal pattern has begun to be established. I walk the dogs in the morning without thinking that I need to get back home to get on with the day, I read books not worrying about what I ought to be doing at the desk, I play with our grand-daughter without feeling the need to check for emails, I listen to music not distracted by tomorrow’s responsibilities, I go fishing without that evening’s meeting or whatever always at the back of my mind.

Yesterday I even struggled to remember what day of the week it was. Bliss!

I hope I may even manage to get back to more regular blogging!

But, I have to say that the biggest change is not what has occurred in these last few days. It was that real sense of a weight lifting from me the very day I retired. And it almost felt like it was a physical weight that had been shed. Even when, in these last few weeks, I have been busy doing ‘normal’ Ministerial type things, that weight has gone. I no longer feel pressured, responsible, nor other people’s expectations in the same way.

I was not expecting this experience, but I am enjoying it!

Of course, while I have retired from being a full-time working Minister, I have not relinquished my ordination! I fully intend to continue to lead worship, preach and celebrate the sacraments (I have already conducted one baptism since retiring). In fact, preparing for and leading worship on a weekly basis is the one thing from Ministerial life that I am currently missing.

But oh how I am enjoying that sense of freedom, ease, lack of pressure, and so on.

I cannot recall the last time in my life when I felt such a sense of well-being, peace and simple joy; a feeling of contentment and being at one with the world.

Music That Makes Me Weep

 

Have mercy, Lord, on me,
Regard my bitter weeping,
Look at me, heart and eyes
Both weep to Thee bitterly.

(Text from St Matthew Passion, Bach)

 

I will return in this blog to chart some more of my journey with music, but I am interrupting it with this little musing about music that makes me cry.

And, there are some songs and pieces of music that almost always cause me to cry; things I cannot listen to without being moved to tears… and it is getting more so the older I get. In certain circumstances, there are a very many songs and musical pieces that can move me deeply, and sometimes to tears. But the following five just about always do this.

 

Erbarme dich, mein Gott, um meiner Zähren Willen! (Bach)

Peter’s aria from Bach’s St Matthew Passion after the cock crows following his denial of Jesus is so deeply moving. (see the translation quoted at the head of this post). While it is set in the context of Peter’s grief at realising that he has so grievously failed Jesus, for me it reflects my own sense of falling short and failing Jesus in so many ways. And it makes me cry.[1]

 

Don’t Give Up (Peter Gabriel with Kate Bush)

I have referenced this song more than once in my blog. It is – for me – so powerful and so moving. Again, it is my own sense of letting people and God down that it speaks to. I first heard it in a situation where I had let others, God, and myself down and when I hear it I am back in that moment, and I can’t stop crying.[2]

 

 

Somewhere (There’s A Place for Us) (Bernstein and Sondheim ‘West Side Story’)

I may post at a later date about the impact that West Side Story had on me (although I did reference it a few posts ago). But this song (and especially when it is briefly reprised at the end of the film by Maria after Tony dies in her arms) is just so terribly moving. It is wistful, poignant, hopeful… and – I would say – spiritual, even theological![3]

 

Symphony Number 6 (Pathétique) (Tchaikovsky)

This last of Tchaikovsky’s works (first performed with the composer himself conducting,  just 9 days before his death) is an immensely passionate and powerful work. But that last movement is the one that always gets to me. So moving! [4]

 

Awaken (from the album ‘Going for the One’ by Yes)

Yes are one of my favourite bands (or – at least – the 1970’s incarnation of them was one of my favourite bands, probably second only to King Crimson, although the similar era Genesis, and Van Der Graaf Generator – whom I am going to see and hear on Saturday evening, also come close). In my view, the best Yes album is ‘Close to the Edge’. But, for me, the best track is this one, from ‘Going for the One’. And it is at the very end (around 14.35) that Jon Anderson sings, in his distinctive voice, these words ‘Like the time I ran away, turned around, and you were standing close to me’. And once again, there I go, and the tears start flowing! Whether I think of these words in terms of human love, or Divine love, they just get to me. I suspect that it is more likely that it touches that part of me that can so easily turn away from God and then find that God is still close.[5]

 

Reading all of this over, I realise that it is an interesting mix of music from very different genres, which fairly well represents the diversity of my musical taste (although no folk or jazz I guess!)

Now, I think I will go and put on some music and have a good cry!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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[1] https://open.spotify.com/track/2H4DnggkcJLymT1aYtjkrP?si=83b461340cb7425c

[2] https://open.spotify.com/track/2t77hjgJY4sC9DoX5uaVUD?si=61c4cf9f7aed419f

[3] https://open.spotify.com/track/7DhQXwTYALJHMqoYaVaTFg?si=652f89e48aa24684

[4] https://open.spotify.com/track/37Sx42ecraWiai21ZiW6se?si=83b2df71b0d74c74

[5] https://open.spotify.com/track/5QzZDAATnQhIEQSyktZFEU?si=0412dd69bc33493b

I Keep Singing That Same Old Song

 

‘I keep singing that same old song,

You keep singing it too;

I keep singing that same old song,

Hearing a different tune.’

 

Heavy Jelly ‘I Keep Singing That Same Old Song’[1]

 

 

Christmas 1969 was the day my musical life changed

I was only 13 years old, but in the couple of years prior to that I had become aware of new things happening in the popular musical world. The Beatles – whom I loved – were experimenting with different sounds and approaches, and the music was sometimes becoming complex and ‘alternative’; new bands and artists were emerging including Cream and Jimi Hendrix and so on. And yet, even in the summer of 1969 (as well as watching the investiture of Prince Charles as Prince of Wales on the TV) I was still more interested in the more ‘poppy’ styles that were in the charts. The likes of Marmalade, Amen Corner, Herman’s Hermits, Zager & Evans and so on were the folks I was listening to, and whose singles I was buying.

I am not sure what happened in the course of the autumn of 1969 to begin to change all of that. I think some of my friends were turning towards the bands that played what was now being labelled as ‘rock’ rather than ‘pop’. I think also that some of the artists that were making it to the charts were becoming more interesting to me; David Bowie, Jethro Tull, Fleetwood Mac, etc (the last two of whom released singles that I had bought). Yes, things were changing

I cannot recall who it was recommended to me the LP ‘Nice Enough to Eat’. But it was what was then called a ‘sampler’ album… various artists from a record label (in this case, the Island record label) each of whom had a track on a budget album… and I suspect that word ‘budget’ was also important! I would not have wanted to commit too much to the unknown! In the end, I persuaded my parents that it would be the ideal ‘extra’ Christmas present, and so it happened.

I listened to it on that Christmas Day of 1969.

Some of the bands (though not the songs on the album) were already familiar to me. Fairport Convention, Traffic and Jethro Tull for example. They had already had singles in the charts which I had enjoyed. So it was good to hear other songs from them. Other artists I would become familiar with over the next wee while such as Free and Mott the Hoople.

And what a joy it was to discover for the first time on this album the heavy riffs of Spooky Tooth and the delicate, delightful, tragic talent of Nick Drake! (If you have never listened to Nick Drake’s music, do check it out).

But nothing prepared me for the piece on this sampler album by a band of whom I had not as yet heard – King Crimson. The opening track from their first album was included on this ‘sampler’: ‘21^st Century Schizoid Man’.

This can sound as though I am over-stating the case, but I am not. My life would never be the same again. This piece of music defied analysis yet was utterly enthralling. A heavy rock riff, distorted guitars and vocals, jazzy lines, stunning virtuoso playing, and so much more. From that day (25^th December 1969) until this I have been utterly caught up in the music of King Crimson (whom I last saw in concert in Glasgow just 3 or 4 years ago).

This proved to be my road into Progressive Rock (‘Prog’) and through that, back to jazz, classical and so much more.

I can still recall kneeling by that Garrard record player in our Clarkston semi at Christmas 1969 and realising that nothing would ever be the same for me musically.

And it wasn’t. I never ever bought another record by Herman’s Hermits![2]

 

PS – I still have that original vinyl album from 1969… much worn and scratched, but still in my possession all these years on.

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[1] Heavy Jelly were a short lived fictitious band. In reality they were the band Skip Bifferty recording under a pseudonym in 1969. See https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Skip_Bifferty However, while this song appeared on ‘Nice Enough to Eat’ it sadly is no longer available to stream and so you will be denied its delights!

[2] If, by any chance you would like to have a wee listen to Nice Enough to Eat (or at least those tracks that are available to stream) then try this link on Spotify https://open.spotify.com/playlist/042lmrLg5OBtp6ArRVBJ9d?si=bda778e10b8e43ca