Resilience

‘Don't give up
You know it's never been easy
Don't give up
'Cause I believe there's a place
There's a place where we belong’

from ‘Don’t give up’ by Peter Gabriel with Kate Bush.

One dictionary definition of ‘resilience’ is  the capacity to withstand or to recover quickly from difficulties. That is fine, as far as it goes.

But, it seems to me that resilience is not simply about how we deal with crises. It is about our complete approach to life. If we do not cultivate the kind of attitudes, attributes, and habits in our everyday lives that produce what I would call resilience, then we are unlikely to be resilient when it comes to a crisis.

The graphic above suggest that flexibility, learning, and adaptability are both the roots of and the fruit of resilience. I won’t argue with that. But how do we cultivate any of these values in our lives? The problem I see with much of what is offered in commentary about resilience from secular, management, psychological ‘gurus’, is that it seems to be mostly about dealing with traumas, not handling everyday life.

In my preaching this Advent, I have very often referred to both patience and hope. No surprise there! These are words that most preachers will use in this season, I suppose.

But, perhaps also, these words give a pointer as to how we nurture the kinds of qualities that lead to resilience in everyday life; the ability to deal with the inevitable little blows and knocks that come about as we live out our lives; the little setbacks and disappointments that come each day, whatever these may be (the succession of red lights when we are driving? The long queues in the supermarket? The person standing in our way as we try to get to the ticket barriers at the station? And that is just to reference a few of the minor irritants that have afflicted me in these last few days!).

So I suppose I am asking myself, ‘how do I deal with disappointments or difficulties’… not necessarily the dramatic big things that hit us, but all the little things that we encounter. Perhaps Paul had a clue when he writes, ‘suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not disappoint us’ (Romans 5: 3-5).

Ah yes; hope! 

We hold onto that hope that what we see in our world and in our lives is not necessarily God’s will, and certainly not God’s last word. His kingdom is still to come.

Be patient.

Have hope.

And so build resilience.

Repentance

 ‘Like the time I ran away,
turned around,
and you were standing close to me’
from ‘Awaken’ by Yes on the album ‘Going for the One’  

My last post was about ‘Reflection’, and this one is entitle ‘Repentance’, and I intend another entitled

‘Resilience’. It seems that three point alliterative sermons just keep happening, even in retirement!

The message of John the Baptist calling people to repentance is well known, and features in the Sunday Gospel readings in Advent. I think that we sometimes tend to think of the call to repentance as being a somewhat grim thing; the stuff of thundering sermons delivered by frowning preachers to fearful congregations. And, to be fair, John the Baptist was certainly what we might call a ‘plain speaker’! I cannot imagine many preachers today declaring to their listeners that they are ‘a brood of vipers’.

But I don’t think we should necessarily see ‘repentance’ as a grim and forbidding process, or even as being somehow contrasted to the ‘good life’ presented elsewhere in Scripture or the ‘life abundant’ of which Jesus speaks. After all, Jesus also called people to repentance.

Repentance – at its root – means a change of mind or heart, or a turning away from one direction and turning to go in another. In terms of our faith journey, it means turning from going our own way (or the ‘wrong’ way) and choosing instead to go God’s way. And God’s way is the way of life abundant. 

It is to do with undertaking an ‘about turn’ or a ‘U-turn’ on the road when we realise that we are headed in the wrong direction.

Perhaps we should view repentance (or ‘turning’ or ‘returning’) in the light of some of the words from Isaiah chapter 30 when the prophet says ‘in returning and rest you shall be saved… the Lord waits to be gracious to you…’

I don’t know about you, but for me all of that places repentance in a more positive light. 

And perhaps that is why – for me – the words from the song ‘Awaken’ by Yes (quoted above) have such resonance. How often I have turned away from God, even run away; and then, when I have finally turned around (‘repented’) there God was, close to me, and offering grace and mercy, and the path to abundant life. 

Reflection

 

‘Searching for me,
you look everywhere 
except beside you.
Searching for you, 
you look everywhere,
but not inside you’

‘Peace – An End’ by King Crimson from the 1970 album ‘In the Wake of Poseidon’  

One of the least enjoyable experiences in my life is getting my hair cut. There are many reasons why I do not much enjoy it. Being trapped in a chair for however long with someone cutting your hair who is determined to have a meaningful conversation is not something I anticipate with glee! (That said, in more recent years it has been fun to play a wee game with myself, to spot the leading questions by which the barber tries to work out whether I get charged the pensioner’s rate or not!)

But most of all, I do not appreciate this period of time when I have nowhere else to look but in the mirror. Just that reflection of myself, staring back.

In recent times I have been disturbed by the old man who stares back at me (when did he get to be that old?!). I have also been occasionally unnerved by my father seemingly looking back at me.

But I also wonder (on reflection – so to speak) if I really do not like to ponder myself, look closely at myself, see things that I might otherwise miss, or gloss over, or deny. In terms of my physical appearance, there are many of these!

But there are also the more significant and important aspects of myself that I perhaps do not reflect upon as much as I could or should.

Most people, when they are challenged about their behaviour, choices, or actions, tend to get a bit defensive. Explanations and excuses trip over each other. I confess to having that tendency.

But, in the quieter moments, when I take the time to have a harder and more honest look, and reflect upon myself, I can feel very aware of my failings, my mistakes, and my regrets. I become conscious of some of my poor choices, silly mistakes, and several failings.

Taking the time to reflect is important, in part so I can see more clearly the errors in my choices; also so I can consider how to act in response to that awareness; and most importantly in order that I can bring that before God for his forgiveness and his help to realign my actions etc, and to consider what I now do to (where appropriate) make amends, or simply amend my life!

In this Advent season, we hear the message of John the Baptist, who does not shrink from calling out bad behaviour. Perhaps that is what is in my mind when I speak about honest reflection. 

I am going to get my haircut this week. Perhaps I will use the time in front of the mirror more profitably on this occasion.

Snow on Snow

 ‘Like December snow, that lays in the wood

You're gone too soon..

…life can be like December snow’

‘December Snow’ by the Moody Blues

I have quoted this Moody Blues song before… and the snow has fallen in Advent before… and it has certainly fallen when we have been here on our Speyside break in the first week of December. The photo above shows the view earlier today from our window here in our timeshare lodge; not very much snow, but a little, and yesterday especially, it looked very pretty.

Any eager readers of my various posts on my blog in years past will recall that I have an ambivalent attitude towards snow. I enjoy looking out at it. Indeed, if properly dressed, I can enjoy walking in it. But when I need to go somewhere, need to drive, or am awaiting a delivery, or whatever, I really do not like the snow. It looks beautiful, but it also disrupts life. 

So, when the snow begins to fall, I find myself conflicted; I find delight and anxiety arise in equal measure!

As I have suggested in years’ past, there are two sides to snow… and there are two sides to Advent also. 

This is the season when we begin to look ahead to Christmas and anticipate the celebration of Jesus birth. But it is also a season of waiting and of ‘not yet’. Hope on the one hand, and delay on the other. The joy and peace is tempered by the awareness that the coming of God’s Kingdom in all its fulness is not yet. We sing of peace but we still are so acutely aware of so much conflict in our world (even, at this time, in that very land in which our Saviour was born). We talk of joy, but we know that there are many who are so weighed down with despair, anxiety, dread, illness or loss.

But, it is into the darkness that the light shines, and hope is born. That is what we are invited to remember and reaffirm in Advent. God’s Kingdom is not yet, but in its time it will come. 

One of the favourite Christmas Carols of many people is ‘In the Bleak Mid-Winter’:

In the bleak mid-winter

Frosty wind made moan;

Earth stood hard as iron,

Water like a stone;

Snow had fallen, snow on snow,

Snow on snow,

In the bleak mid-winter

Long ago

(Christina Rossetti) 

I have to confess, it is far from my favourite – very far!

The popular tune by Gustav Holst I find far from inspiring (and I generally love Holst’s work). The tune by Harold Darke so often sung by choirs at services of Lessons and Carols is much more appealing to me. 

But it is the words of that first verse I find most unappealing (and the rest of the verses are wonderful!). That first verse is so very depressing! And don’t start me on the fact that Jesus’ birth in Bethlehem was almost certainly not in the ‘bleak mid-winter’ and there was scarce chance of frost, still less ‘snow on snow’?!?

And yet, I presume that even if most of those who sing and love this carol may imagine that it was in such a bleak meteorological context that the birth of Jesus took place, Christina Rossetti knew better. So, what then is she saying? 

Is it perhaps that it is in the bleakest, darkest, ‘coldest’, most forbidding times in our lives (and in our world?) that hope is born and the light shines?

Indeed, one musicologist has suggested that verse 1 of this carol is ‘a metaphor for a "harsh spiritual landscape" experienced at the time of Christ's birth’. If so, it speaks to all of us in the face of the blizzards and bleakness that can afflict us.

It is in such times, that hope is born.

It is in the darkness, that the light shines.

It may be worth looking afresh at this carol… 

Knowledge and Wisdom

 

‘Knowledge is a deadly friend

if no-one sets the rules’

From ‘Epitaph’ by King Crimson (from the Album ‘In the Court of the Crimson King’)

‘Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit, wisdom is not serving it with custard’.. or something like that!

What is more, I am wise enough to know that quoting from the Buddha (see above) is not likely to go down too well with some of my more theologically conservative friends. But I reckon that wisdom is to be celebrated wherever it may be found.

I am also aware that a blog post on the topic of ‘wisdom’ might have been better left until Epiphany when we celebrate the coming of the Wise Ones to Jesus, rather than writing this post at the beginning of Advent.

But, hey, there you go! (and I may be unlikely to post much come January!)

Although I have been reflecting a little on wisdom of late, I am not sure I have much wisdom to offer in this wee post. Just a musing… or two.

As a human race I suppose that we have never had more knowledge than we do now; but I fear that this knowledge is not often accompanied by wisdom. If ever we needed wise people and wise judgements it is surely now.

I read somewhere that ‘knowledge is the accumulation of facts and data, while wisdom is the ability to use that knowledge to make good decisions’. If so, then I would have to confess that I constantly pursue  the accumulation of facts and data (knowledge), but I am unsure how much wisdom I have, or to what extent I truly seek it. But I do want to seek wisdom, to thirst for it, crave it; and I certainly wish I had more of it! 

But how do I acquire wisdom? 

The more I have thought about this, the more it seems to me that the quest for wisdom is a spiritual quest. So I am seeking to pray about it, ponder it in God’s presence, read the parts of the Bible often referred to as ‘Wisdom literature’ to discover more, and to allow wisdom to shape me and permeate my mind and soul.

In the Bible, Wisdom (‘Sophia’) is often personified; she (and she is most definitely ‘she’!) is depicted as a person. What, I wonder, is the significance of that? And what is the relationship between Sophia and Logos (God’s Word, which became flesh in Jesus)?

Interesting questions, and much to ponder.

But the danger for me is that this pondering becomes a search for more knowledge about Wisdom, rather than the pursuit of Wisdom herself; and it is Wisdom that I am seeking.

Advent Once Again!

 ‘I come back, come back
You see my return
My returning face is smiling
Smile of a waiting man’
From ‘Waiting Man’ by King Crimson (from the Album ‘Beat’)

Two years ago, in the first of my Advent blogs of 2022, I wrote:

• I blog only very occasionally and haphazardly

• Notwithstanding  that, I do tend to blog regularly in Advent

• I love this season of Advent and wish that the church was better at allowing Advent to be Advent and not simply an excuse to prematurely celebrate Christmas 

• I use a lot of quotes from music (especially but not exclusively, rock music and particularly from that genre that is known as ‘progressive rock’) 

• I reflect a lot on the different changes and challenges of life as the years pass

Well, not much has changed! In spite of my own hopes and best intentions, I still only blog occasionally. But Advent, it seems, is the time when I am most likely to be regularly blogging (sometimes even daily!). The exception being last year when we were in the throes of moving house.

It makes me wonder why I tend to blog in Advent, but not so much at other times in the year.

Reflecting upon this, I think that there may be several reasons.

To start with, I can’t avoid the most obvious reason, which is that we tend to take a week’s leave in the first week of December. We have done this for years now, and it is, therefore, always a time with more space and opportunity to reflect and to blog. 

I also think that the ending of the liturgical year and the dawning of the new Christian year, along with the approach of Christmas and New Year, is a natural time for looking back and looking forward, for reflecting and pondering. 

But, I suspect the main reason is that I am so passionate about this season of Advent and (as I said two years ago, as mentioned above) ‘I love this season of Advent and wish that the church was better at allowing Advent to be Advent and not simply an excuse to prematurely celebrate Christmas’.

As I have said before (and I have stirred up a fair bit of controversy and complaint as a result!) if it were up to me, we would not sing a Christmas ‘carol’ before the Watchnight Service on Christmas Eve (after all, we don’t usually sing ‘Thine be the Glory’ on Good Friday!). And we would not put up a Christmas tree until that same evening, and so on. We would focus on Advent and what it is about, and explore the themes of patience, prayer and preparation, of waiting and watching, of hope… as well as the darker Advent themes of suffering and darkness, along with the related themes of repentance and rejoicing. Allowing Advent to be Advent, gives us room to develop anticipation and nurture hope. 

Now, to be fair, I would also then keep celebrating Christmas and singing carols joyfully up until the ‘twelfth night’ or even beyond! The Christmas season lasts until Epiphany (6th January). Some would say until Candlemas (2nd February). What fun that would be!

But, alas, that now seems like a wistful hope that is unlikely to find much traction in our contemporary, commercialised age. I recall a few years ago popping into Tesco on Christmas Eve just before it was closing, and already the staff were busy taking down all the Christmas decorations and displays.

And so, I find myself inevitably and inexorably (and a little unhappily) drawn into the premature celebration of Christmas, and – as one who conducts worship – find myself uneasily choosing Christmas praise for Sunday worship somewhat earlier than feels comfortable. But I feel obliged so to do, and I know of one colleague who faced considerable anger from the congregation due to his failure to do that very thing on the Sunday before Christmas. 

Ah well… I will try to avoid that, however reluctantly! 

But, for myself, I will make every effort to allow Advent to be Advent, not due to some pursuit of ‘liturgical purity’ (of which I have been accused more than once with regard to this issue!). But because I believe that Christians are denying themselves the opportunity to engage with a season in which we can reflect on some of the most important and significant and deep aspects of our faith. 

A Change of Rhythm

 

‘And through the rhythm,

of moving slowly;

sent through the rhythm,

work out the story’

 

Yes ‘The Revealing Science of God’ on the album ‘Tales from Topographic Oceans’ (1973)

 

I remember when I used to post supposedly deep (pretentious?) reflections on my blog regarding matters of life and faith and so on. It has been a while since I have done so. But I hope to get back to these posts… sometime.

Meanwhile, this post consists of (yet) more musings on the stage of life at which I now find myself.

But, perhaps that is the point; I am now reflecting on different things and it seems my focus has changed. Or – to put it another way – the rhythm of life has changed.

I am aware that since I became a grandfather, and since I retired, I have said quite a lot on my blog about contentedness, gratitude, the seasons of life, the ‘pleasures of a lifetime’ and so on. I am very much enjoying this new phase of life.

And, more than that, I am aware of how I am adjusting the rhythm of my life. As I look back over the years, I am amazed at, and grateful for, the many things I have done, places I have been, marvels I have seen, and so forth. Fifty years ago I would not have imagined even half of the experiences I can look back on.

But now I find that the rhythm is changing, or perhaps I am choosing to change the rhythm. No longer do I feel ‘driven’ (or even greatly motivated) to go to exotic places, do adventurous things, or so on. I realise that for many of my contemporaries retirement is a time for foreign travel, prolonged holidays and such like. And good for them! They seem to be enjoying it, and I am very pleased for them.

Just today, a group of old school friends who get together from time to time were in touch with one another by email to see if we could plan our next lunch date. The first date suggested suited me fine… and only one other person. The rest couldn’t make it as they were (variously) in Turkey, Japan, or Switzerland!

Now, I guess I still have a few foreign trips in me, but the prospect no longer ignites my excitement as once it would. Instead, I find I want to spend my time in different ways; possibly in ‘simpler’ ways?

I want to spend time with my grandchildren, I want to think about writing, to compose and play more music, to spend more time doing things around the house, to watch the birds in the garden, to explore local parks and museums, to read more books, and so on. 

Yes, the rhythm has changed.

And, although I am still involved in a little bit of ministry, I am pleased that the rather hectic rhythms of full-time parish ministry are a thing of the past. The new, slower rhythms of life allow me to enjoy just a little more time to pray and ponder, to read and reflect, to think big thoughts and even sometimes just stare into space.

I guess if I keep doing that then some new posts of the more reflective and thoughtful nature may eventually reappear. But then, perhaps even these will have a different rhythm.