Saying Sorry

 

 

‘Oh it seems to me

That sorry seems to be the hardest word’

From  ‘Sorry seems to be the hardest word’ by Elton John

 

I think that my recent reflections on the reform and renewal of the Kirk and my uncertainty about the present state of the church must have been playing on my mind as – the other night – I awoke from an unexpected dream which was located back in the days (almost 20 years ago) when I was heavily involved in discussions about the renewal and rationalisation of the ‘central church’ structures.

These were not easy discussions, and in my dream I was back in a painful meeting (a meeting that I well recall to this day)In this meeting some of what was said was neither fair nor kind. The meeting was a real memory but what happened next was not based in what actually occurred (at least not at the time of that meeting). In my dream, one of the folks attending turned to me and apologised for his words. I knew that I too had not been as measured or as kind as I might have been in what I had said, but – while I was able to graciously accept his apology – in my dream, I was not able to reciprocate and say sorry to him.

That is the point at which I woke up and I pondered it for a while. The context of my dream may have been based in a real event, but the last bit wasn’t. In fact, I suspect it reflected thoughts I have recently been having about how difficult we find it (I find it!) to apologise.

So, is sorry in fact the hardest word?

During this season of Advent the theme of penitence arises as part of our spiritual preparation of the celebration of Christ’s nativity. The call of the prophets and the preaching of John the Baptist both call people to return to God, to repent, to be purified, and so on.

That begins with an acknowledgement of our need to be forgiven… we need to say sorry and accept forgiveness. And, yes, it can sometimes seem hard to say sorry.

But even when we can bring ourselves to acknowledge and accept our need of forgiveness, even if sorry is a hard word, it cannot be the last word.

The call to repent is a call to turn around… to change.

So, on reflection, perhaps sorry is not always the hardest word. Even if we find ourselves able to say sorry, if nothing then changes it could be that sorry is the easiest and even cheapest of words.