Dazed and Confused

 

‘Been dazed and confused for so long, it's not true’

Led Zeppelin ‘Dazed and Confused’

So, anxiety creeps up again as the new ‘omicron’ variant of the virus creates new uncertainties. Like the rest of society (well, most at least) we had to cancel all our plans for last year’s Christmas with regard to being with our family. It was so hard to do that, but we had to. We were told to. We felt it was responsible to do so. So we did. It was sad, disappointing and frustrating, but we had no doubt that we had taken the right decision. It is rather irritating to find out that not all were as responsible, especially the possibility that those in high places while making the rules were not themselves following them!

But now we are looking forward so much to this Christmas-time and being together with our now expanded family! I cannot wait. Except… day by day the little niggling anxiety is there… omicron!

And that is part of the legacy of these last two years… the two steps forward then one step back and then one step forward and two steps back and…

For those of us who worship, we are approaching another Christmas of singing from behind face coverings and so no wonder that many formerly regular worshippers feel disinclined to venture back just yet… if ever!

And that is the pattern of emerging from the worst restrictions; the lockdown, which was so difficult for so many. If, due to the uncertainty and unpredictability and gradual and unsteady progress, the emerging from some restrictions is this worrying, what has been the impact of the lockdown itself? And not simply in the immediate experience, but the longer term implications.

Of course, we know that the lockdown had a huge impact on the educational and social lives of so many children. But will some of these effects be longer lasting than we hope?

We have yet to see what the result so all of this might be. But already there is the evidence of social dislocation, mental illness, emotional cost, relationship breakdown and much more.

I have listened to some folks telling me how they have been since the pandemic first hit, and there are some worrying trends. There are elderly folks for whom what social interaction they had was a lifeline, a point of contact with others and a mental stimulation and more besides. But many now feel disinclined to venture out (for whatever reason) and some are now shrinking into themselves and becoming reclusive. And not only the elderly. Several of my own contemporaries are no longer willing to meet in the contexts that they used to (cafes, pubs, restaurants etc) and some for very good reason… and yet, when does an understandable choice eventually become a social habit?

And, even though I have now begun to venture back into public social spaces, there is an aspect of this that affects me too.

Do I want to resume my old way of life, my former leisure activities, my social connections and so on?

I know from many conversations with ministerial colleagues how utterly stressed some (most?) are, in large part due to the pandemic and its impact. A few (not many from what I can see) have thrived as they rose to the various challenges. But they seem to me to be the minority and many fellow Ministers are only just hanging on, with – I suspect – a tsunami of stress about to crash down upon us. Indeed, it seems to be already occurring.

I know that a similar story might be told by those working in education or health care or social care and so on and on.

For Minsters, however, this has also all come at a time of major change in the shape of the church, in the likely pattern of congregational provision, of future tenure uncertainty and of radically depleted ‘central’ resources.

So no wonder people are not coping. No wonder we are tired. No wonder we feel ‘dazed and confused’.

How do we help each other through this, support each other when we struggle, find the necessary resources for coping and surviving?

I am not sure I know the specific answers. But (for Ministers at least) I do think that even in a time of depleted resources we need more (and not less) investment in pastoral support, spiritual direction and the like. And help too with change management, I would suggest (I do not recall that being a topic in my Ministerial training!).

And for us all, whoever we are and whatever we do, I wonder if part of dealing with this is to acknowledge that our malaise is widely experienced, that it is not unusual or unexpected, that we are all in this together.

For me as a Christian believer, I am also becoming more aware of the need to join with Jesus in finding the time and space to withdraw from the demands and the confusion and be alone with God in a quiet place. Not to think I can do everything or fix everything or understand everything. Not even always to try too hard to pray or meditate, but simply to be quiet in the presence (or perhaps sometimes the apparent absence and distance!) of God.